i'll keep you (my dirty little secret)
by hedakomhearteyes
Summary: Clarke has been with Finn for five months, however they haven't had sex for five weeks and Clarke is slowly going crazy. So she decides to find herself a fuck buddy. Enter Lexa. Writer, part-time college professor, bad-ass with a motorcycle and fucking hot. They agree to no-strings-attached sex. But soon sex turns into more and they have to ask themselves what, and who, they want.


**Summary:** Clarke has been with Finn for five months and it's okay. It isn't extreme passion and desire, but it's been good. However, they haven't had sex for five weeks and Clarke is slowly going crazy. She's a sexual person, she likes having sex, preferably a lot of it. So she decides to find herself a fuck buddy. Enter Lexa. Writer, part-time college professor, bad-ass with a motorcycle and fucking hot. They agree to no-strings-attached sex, but soon sex turns into more and they have to start asking themselves what, and _who_ , it is they want.

 **A/N:** Clarke is dating Finn, but like the summary says, it isn't going too well and so Clarke finds herself a fuck buddy. I am Clexa all the way and so this is Clexa all the way, however there will be certain scenes where Clarke comes onto Finn, but I will let you know in an author's note so you're prepared. All our beloved characters will make an appearance, but this is 60% Clexa smut.

Also, I am a very chaotic writer and I can't make promises on an update schedule, so this will be probably be updated with random intervals. In any case, enjoy!

* * *

There is a very small amount of nervousness coursing through her veins, which is probably due to the very possible chance that she is about to meet with a total creep.

(Which will totally be her own fault considering she posted the fucking ad on Craigslist of all places. To be fair, she has seen weirder things posted on that website.)

Still, she is nervous, but she has to do this, because quite honestly, she's about to go insane and very well might if this Lexa person isn't who she says she is. Clarke really needs her to be who she says she is. Hell, she doesn't even have to look remotely like the picture – which is fucking gorgeous, so if she does that would just be fantastic. But really, she doesn't, because if everything goes according to plan Clarke will have her eyes closed most of the time she's around this woman anyway.

Taking a deep breath, Clarke crosses the street. She halts before entering the dinner and checks her appearance in the reflection of the window.

Blue skinny jeans that show of her long legs and natural curves; excellent.

Red t-shirt with a low enough cut to show off her cleavage but isn't too trashy; superb.

Leather jacket with the sleeves pushed up; sexy touch.

She nods to herself and straightens her back in a show of confidence as she enters the diner. It's a cute place she's never been to, never even heard of before this Lexa suggested it as their place to meet. Clarke agreed instantly, because a diner in the middle of the day is neutral ground. Nothing too bad can happen to her there and if it does, there are probably plenty of witnesses.

She realizes she is coming up with worst case scenarios, but really, that is to be expected if you consider the nature of Clarke's request, the reason for this meeting.

Still in the entrance she scans the diner. She's five minutes late and Lexa already noted that she's a punctual woman; right on time is late to her. In light of that, Clarke is probably not making a great first impression. But who cares about first impressions when she may be walking into her grave? No, she thought this through. Agree on a time to meet, show up late and see if the woman is already there. If no one in the diner looks anywhere close to the woman in the picture Lexa sent, then Clarke will be the hell out of there before anyone even knew she was there in the first place.

Looking at the people occupying the booths, Clarke feels an odd disappointment begin to settle when she's running out of faces and still hasn't spotted anyone even vaguely resembling Lexa. But then she sees her, in a corner booth, the only one not near a window, reading a book and Clarke actually, honest to God, gasps. Apparently, this Lexa looks nothing like the fucking gorgeous woman in the picture she had sent and Clarke, honest to God, is actually gaping at her now, because Goddamnit, this woman is far prettier. She's far more gorgeous and really, if Clarke had to be crude and think like a dude, she's fucking hot.

From where she's standing near the entrance, she can't see much of what Lexa is wearing, but just the sight of her white blouse with only the top button undone and her sleeves rolled up over her elbows, showing of sun-tanned skin, is enough to send Clarke's imagination into overdrive.

All the nervousness leaves her body and replaces with excitement and arousal and Clarke sighs, because that tells her two things. One, it really has been way too fucking long and she has no idea how she's still alive and two, this is never going to be a one-off thing like she low-key hoped it would be. Just once to get it out of her system and hold herself over until Finn found himself again. She had survived five weeks without now; she could surely survive another five if she just had something to hold onto.

But seeing Lexa and noticing the way her body already responds to her – allowing herself to, just momentarily, entertain the things her mind is already conjuring up – Clarke knows this is not going to be a one and done kind of encounter.

Doesn't matter though. She discussed this with Finn and he agreed and surely this whole situation won't last much longer than a month, two tops. So she takes another deep breath and makes her way over to the corner booth, clearing her throat to announce her presence and having to bite her lip in order not to gape at the other woman again. Lexa is looking up at her with eyes far greener than the picture made them out to be – admittedly, the lighting in the picture left much to be desired, but still – and Clarke needs an actual moment to get herself together.

"Lexa?" She finally asks, her voice cracking a little at the end.

"Yes. You must be Clarke." Clarke simply nods and only moves to sit when Lexa motions to the empty booth across from her. She places her purse on the table and shrugs out of her jacket before getting comfortable and daring to look at Lexa again.

"So," Lexa clears her throat and the action is almost awkward, betraying a nervosity Clarke herself only briefly felt, "about your ad."

"Yes. Do you have any questions?"

"I just wondered... why?"

Let's take this moment to rewind and go back in time for a bit.

Clarke has been dating Finn for some five months, quite happily so. Okay no, that's not entirely true; it's what she's been telling herself, but it's not true. She is _content_. Finn is kind and good to her and obviously very much in love with her and while Clarke isn't too sure about the in love part herself, there is certainly a part of her that loves him.

What also helps is that Finn is happy to oblige Clarke in her sexual desires, of which she has a lot. It's always been that way: Clarke is a sexual person and if it was up to her she would have sex at least once a day, every day.

Unfortunately, that's a bit too much for Finn's own personal libido and also nearly impossible with his work schedule. He's at the office until at least 7, sometimes 8 every night, afterwards he comes home, they have dinner, clean the dishes and then he showers before going to bed to read a book before going to sleep.

If you ask Clarke, there is plenty of time and opportunity to have sex in that time. During the cleaning of the dishes for example, which she will gladly neglect and postpone to the next morning in favor of an orgasm. Or during his shower, which they could share and also save water in the process. Or while he's in bed reading his book, which really won't walk away if he chooses Clarke over it.

Still, they have enough sex to keep Clarke at least mildly satisfied and he's good and kind, so she's content.

Or rather, she was. Some five weeks prior to Clarke meeting Lexa in a cute diner, somewhere in the middle of the city, she found herself getting gloriously naked with Finn. The night was pretty much perfect and Clarke was more than happy to celebrate that with hopefully three rounds of sex, at least.

There was a moment where Finn initially declined, stating he was tired and had to get up early the next morning, but Clarke persuaded him with her Griffin Charm™ – and the way she popped an extra button on her blouse probably also helped.

So there they were, in their bedroom, getting gloriously naked. At that point it had been nearly a week since they'd had sex and Clarke was nearing insanity. So imagine her happy surprise when the first thing Finn does, once she's finally naked and on the bed, is going down on her. Usually she has to ask and he doing it of his own accord is a nice change of pace.

But it became pretty clear pretty quickly just why he went down on her right away. He was sloppy and obviously unfocused and well... tired. So Clarke pulled him up, asked him what was wrong and with his head hung he admitted that not only was he tired, he just wasn't feeling it, hadn't felt it for almost a week now. The evidence of this statement hung limply between his legs.

Clarke sighed in defeat and disappointment, but she also understood. He'd been working hard, eyeing an important promotion and he was probably just really tired. So she kissed his cheek, rolled him over on his back and told him to get some sleep while she took a shower first.

(Obviously because Clarke Griffin is a decent human being and she does _not_ get herself off while her boyfriend is sleeping right next to her. No, decent human being Clarke Griffin gets herself off in the shower while her boyfriend is sleeping in the other room.)

She had expected that Finn would come around once things at work calmed down, which they did after about a week or so. But even with enough sleep and reduced work-related stress, Finn still didn't feel it, still couldn't get it up. So Clarke waited. Naturally, she initiated taking things further than just a heated make-out session on several – many – occasions, but to no avail.

After three weeks it became too much. To Clarke, going from having sex three days a week to never is like going cold turkey. It seriously crossed her mind to break up with Finn and go back into the dating scene. But that wasn't fair to him and that's not the kind of person Clarke is. She liked Finn, enjoyed being around him. Things were good with Finn and honestly, only the sex was missing. So what she needed was simply someone to have sex with. No strings attached, no feelings included.

Of course that wasn't an easy thing to break to Finn. He's a man, he took it personally; Clarke assured him it definitely wasn't personal. He wouldn't even entertain the idea for a whole week, but Clarke made sure to bring it up every day. Finally he relented, but requested that she wouldn't pick someone they knew; it had to be a complete stranger.

Clarke agreed to that and he seemed surprised by it. Maybe he had hoped that the prospect of sleeping with a complete stranger would be unappealing to Clarke, but it wasn't. There had been many nights before Finn where she found herself in a stranger's bed and as long as she was sure the person in question wasn't a total creep and void of any STD's, she was fine with it.

It took another four days before Finn was really okay with it and allowed Clarke to post an ad on Craigslist.

(Don't ever ask her why she chose Craigslist, because she honestly doesn't know. Desperate being the only word coming to mind.)

Just a day after posting the ad she had enough response to pick a different person every night for three weeks. But after sifting through the applications at least half were quickly dropped. The remaining faces were all brought before Finn for further discussion, because he wanted to know who would be sleeping with his girlfriend. Five of them were quickly dismissed because Clarke easily found their pictures on different sites with different names and she wasn't going to risk picking some dude who lived in his mother's basement, only playing World of Warcraft and eating McDonalds.

With five faces left, Clarke had quickly made a decision – it was pretty much made from the moment she saw the picture, but hey, fair chances for everyone. Clarke was fully intending on letting Finn know who she'd picked, but as he looked at the five pictures left he resolutely shook his head. Apparently they were all too good looking and he didn't want to know because, well, he's a man, he still took it personally. So Clarke merely told him she made a choice and would set up a meeting and let him know how it went.

Enter Lexa and a cute diner in the middle of the city. Of course in her explanation of the events leading up to the ad and their meeting, Clarke left out that they weren't having sex because Finn can't get it up. Because she had no idea why it wasn't working for him anymore and she's taking it kind of personally, because hello! She's a good looking young woman; she has sex appeal and knows how to seduce someone. Not getting someone turned on when she wants them to? That has never really happened to her.

Lexa seems understanding of what Clarke shared of the situation and isn't at all freaked out or annoyed by the fact that Clarke has a boyfriend who she's perfectly ha– ... content with, although she shouldn't be, because Clarke clearly stated it in the ad.

"I won't be awkward about this, because I am a confident person and as such am confident in my sexuality. And quite frankly, I like sex. A lot. But like I said: I haven't had it in while and while lack of sex is not a good enough reason to break up with someone, I still need sex."

"Okay."

"Okay. So may I ask why you responded?"

Lexa takes a nervous sip from her glass of water, obviously staring at something over Clarke's shoulder to avoid eye contact and it's clear that Lexa is not as confident about this as Clarke is. That's not a problem though; if she really wants this then they'll find a way to help her relax and just enjoy the ride. Clarke is not a selfish, egotistical person; this isn't only about her and she would be very happy to wait a few more days to put Lexa at ease with the whole situation.

"I was in serious relationship for four years which ended badly about two years ago and I don't want to start dating again. But I do find that there are certain... physical needs that demand to be satisfied and I am not the type of person to pick up strangers at bars."

Clarke nods in understanding, relieved with the fact that Lexa isn't looking to date anyone and won't be prone to develop feelings for her. She's about to say something when Lexa looks up again, stares her dead in the eye and Clarke is taken aback with the sudden intensity of the moment.

"Besides," Lexa's voice somehow seems deeper and Clarke notices her eyes now shine with excitement, "you are exactly my type."

Clarke swallows hard as she readjusts in her seat, her arousal from the first sight of Lexa now back and obviously present. Lexa is still staring at her, Clarke thinks she can see a hint of a smirk on her lips and she has to breathe in deep. "And what is your type?"

Lexa actually does smirk now, though small and nearly invisible, but Clarke doesn't miss it and she moves her hands from where they lay clasped on the table to her legs, fingers digging into the flesh as she clenches her thighs. Lexa leans forward after observing Clarke's body language and Clarke subconsciously follows her.

"Confident. Sexy. I bet you're dominant and demanding." She pauses for dramatic effect. "Are you, Clarke?"

Oh, there's something in the way Lexa says her name and Clarke actually closes her eyes as she lets the sound wash over her. She can feel a familiar wetness gathering between her legs and she practically moans right there in the diner. This is verbal foreplay at its finest.

(Or maybe Clarke is just really, _really_ , ready to finally be touched again and her want and desire and weeks of waiting are amplifying this moment. Whatever it is, it's fucking fantastic.)

"Are you, Clarke?" Lexa asks again when she still hasn't answered and Clarke opens her eyes to look straight into green ones.

"Yes."

"Good. I like that. But don't be fooled, so am I."

Another deep breath is what it takes for Clarke to gather her bearings and step back into the game. She lets Lexa know, with a smirk of her own, that the game is on.

"Good. Do you have any more questions?"

Lexa leans back in the booth, posture nonchalant as she shrugs. "One. Are you tested?"

"Yes, I am and I'm clean. You?"

"Same."

"Good. I have a question too. Do you have anywhere else you need to be today?"

"Just an appointment at five."

Clarke smirks again when she realizes from the way Lexa is looking at her and starts to sit up that she caught on to Clarke's intentions.

"Then we have time."

And just like that they end up in Lexa's bed.

Clarke realizes as they make their way to her apartment – which turned out to be a 15-minute, rather awkward, mostly silent, filled with eye-fucking subway ride – that she hadn't thought beyond finding someone to sleep with. To be fair, she hadn't expected their first meeting to end in an exploration of each other's body, but she is also most certainly not complaining, because that _is_ what she came for. (No pun intended.)

As they make their way up to the 15th floor of Lexa's apartment building in another silent ride on an elevator this time, Clarke realizes she should have thought of a place to hold these meetings. Surely going to either one of their apartments is way too familiar and also, her own apartment is completely out of the question with Finn living there too.

She begins contemplating the merits of renting a weekly hotel-room or something when she's pulled inside an apartment by Lexa and in the next moment promptly pushed against the door, which Lexa has decided to close with Clarke's body and that is just fucking hot. All thought of hotel-rooms flee Clarke's brain.

Lexa's hands are on her hips, holding her in place as their entire bodies are pressed together and Lexa is sucking at her neck. Clarke can't help the moan bubble from her throat – yup, definitely been way too fucking long.

Lexa's lips move up to nip at her jaw and when she pulls back to look at Clarke's lips with hooded eyes – which Clarke notices, which causes a wave of arousal through Clarke's entire body, which should have been her first warning-sign – she remembers she has some boundaries to set. Okay one; she has one boundary. One rule.

"Stop." She croaks, voice hoarse with lust already and Lexa's eyes snap back to hers as she locks her jaw – which Clarke finds way too sexy because that jaw line must have been sculpted by God himself. "I have one rule." She continues and Lexa nods, the only indication that she is listening and Clarke should continue.

She takes a deep breath, trying to clear her thoughts for the moment being so she at least sounds somewhat convincing – on the other hand, Lexa is in no position to object to Clarke's terms, because she agreed to all of Clarke's terms the moment she responded to that ad. Clarke still needs that breath, though.

"No kissing. At least not on the mouth, everywhere else is fine. Everywhere else is... perfect, actually." Lexa nods again, swallows once, twice, works her jaw, probably to loosen it and then smirks at Clarke. She leans in, sucking at the flesh of Clarke's neck again and slowly moving up to her ear until she is close enough to whisper,

"Can I take you to my bedroom now?"

Clarke moans, then swallows hard before finding her weak reply: "Please."

In one swift motion, Lexa has her hands on Clarke's ass and she's lifting her up. Clarke wraps her legs around Lexa's waist like they've done this a thousand times, like it's their routine. Lexa holds Clarke close, hands still on her ass and Clarke breathes out a soft " _fuck_ ".

(Finn never picked her up like that – hell, _no one_ has ever picked her up like that and Clarke thinks this may be the hottest thing that has ever happened to her. It isn't, as she walks home nearly three hours later, she knows it isn't, but right now her judgement is a little clouded.)

Clarke doesn't even remember Lexa carrying her down the hall and into her bedroom, but the next thing she knows she's laying on her back in the bed and Lexa is pulling away from her. Clarke watches for a bit, but the moment Lexa's hands reach for the buttons of her blouse, Clarke jumps into action.

"No," she's on her knees in no time, reaching out and grasping the hem of Lexa's blouse to pull her closer, "let me do it."

Lexa lets her hands fall to her sides without complaint and watches as Clarke reaches for the top button. She's taking her sweet time undoing them, biting her lip all the while, and while her pace was probably meant to be torturous, the way she stares at every new inch of exposed skin makes her seem more in awe than teasing.

Truly, Clarke is in awe. From the swell of Lexa's breasts, covered by a simple black bra, to her visible abs. Clarke is immensely turned on by the mere sight of Lexa. And from there, once Clarke has pulled the blouse from where it was tucked into Lexa's trousers, everything happens so fast.

Clarke's shirt is carelessly pulled from her body and thrown somewhere on the floor behind Lexa; Clarke yanks Lexa's belt from the loops with one forceful tug, which simultaneously brings Lexa even closer, allowing Clarke to trace her tongue over the lines between Lexa's abs as she works on the button of her trousers. Lexa sighs contentedly, her hands curling in Clarke's hair, but then she seems to remember herself and she pulls away.

Clarke doesn't even protest, just yanks her trousers down Lexa's long legs – which are gorgeous and Clarke could probably stare at them for a whole day – and Lexa easily steps out of them before kicking them away.

She pushes against Clarke's shoulders next and Clarke takes the hint, repositioning herself so that's she lying on the bed again. Lexa looks her over once, very slowly, from where she's still standing and then she settles on the bed too. Her knees are on either side of Clarke's as she sits back and lets her hands take hold of Clarke's lacy white panties – they match with her bra and they're nearly see-through with how soaked Clarke already is.

The material slides off her legs easily and Lexa dumps it next to her on the floor, her eyes never leaving Clarke's wet sex. She licks her lips, swallows hard and then looks up at Clarke. Clarke has to take a deep breath at the sight of Lexa's lust-darkened eyes, the way her cheeks are flushed and her lips are apart and oh the way her head is slightly cocked to the side as she looks at Clarke, like she's trying to look through her soul. Her eyes are screaming for consent and Clarke can only nod, her breath held in anticipation of what is to come.

Lexa smirks again, then lowers her body down on the mattress so she's laying in between Clarke's legs, which spread immediately in an open invitation. She lowers her lips onto Clarke's stomach first, kissing up and down, as if telling Clarke that this is what she will be doing to her pussy soon enough. Clarke can feel her arousal drip from her, Lexa's midriff pressing against her isn't helping much either. She bucks up in search of friction, but Lexa merely grips her hips with firm hands, long fingers digging into her skin, holding her down and still.

As if she's grown bored with kissing Clarke's stomach, Lexa sighs and moves to her belly-button, where she wastes no timing in dipping in her tongue and swirling it around. Clarke moans in response, because that is one skilled as fuck tongue and there are other, far more interesting places, for Lexa to explore with it. But Clarke seems to have lost all ability to speak, still waiting with bathed breath as her hands grip the sheets around her.

Thankfully, Lexa grows bored of her belly-button too and she begins sucking a straight line down. As she reaches the tiny patch of blonde hairs leading to Clarke's wet center, Clarke becomes a writhing mess. Lexa moves her right arm underneath Clarke's left leg and lifts it over her shoulder as her left hand pushes against the thigh of Clarke's right leg, spreading her even further as she leans in.

Clarke thinks she may come from just feeling Lexa's breath against her clit, she's so worked up. But then Lexa takes her in her mouth and Clarke moans so loud, Lexa is pretty sure the neighbors heard. But Clarke can't even find it in herself to be sorry; it's been five fucking weeks since she's felt someone's warm mouth over her throbbing clit and she'll be damned if she's not going to make the most out of this.

Lexa sucks on her clit for a minute, somehow keeping her tongue away and Clarke is grinding into her mouth because she just needs some friction. When Lexa pulls away, Clarke whimpers – like a baby, like a child being denied what they want – she actually, fucking whimpers. But then, then the most amazing thing happens.

Lexa shifts a little, angling herself, and then she presses the flat of her tongue against Clarke's soaking wet cunt and she licks up, the tip of her tongue brushing over Clarke's clit before she pulls back to look at Clarke, who's back is arched off the bed, head thrown back, knuckles white from her grip on the sheets as she releases a long, content " _aaaaaaaaaah_."

Clarke is seeing stars already and she vows in this moment to never go five weeks without sex ever again. She doesn't even know how she survived.

Soon enough Lexa's tongue is back on her and she is sucking and licking and nipping, keeping close watch on the way Clarke's body reacts to her on the sounds she makes. When she does something that makes Clarke's hips buck up, she does it again. When she makes Clarke moan, Lexa makes sure to repeat her action again and again, each time a little harder until she moves on. She remembers what Clarke likes, sometimes to repeat it later on, sometimes to file away for future reference.

It isn't long before Clarke can't keep still; one hand is now tangled in Lexa's hair, alternating between pulling and pushing without any real direction. The other moves around the bed, fingers gripping the sheets then flexing; sometimes Clarke throws her arms over her eyes, sometimes she cups her own breast, shortly massaging it.

Lexa doesn't have to know Clarke's body to know she's close to orgasm, so she lets go of Clarke's thigh with her left hand and angles her arm so that she can rub Clarke's clit while she kisses the short way down from her clit to her entrance. She's not even trying to tease her anymore, so after three licks she pushes her tongue inside and immediately feels Clarke's walls clenching around her as Clarke nearly screams above her.

(It's been five fucking weeks since Clarke has felt anything other than her own fingers inside herself, she will damn well scream when she finally gets fucked again, thank you very much.)

It takes only two thrusts, combined with the pressure of Lexa's fingers on her clit, and then Clarke comes. Her entire body stills for a moment, her mouth falls open in a silent scream and when part of her senses return she can still feel Lexa's tongue slowly working inside her, helping her ride out her orgasm. It takes about three minutes for the aftershocks to subside and for her pussy to become too sensitive to touch, so she grabs Lexa's hair and pulls her away.

Lexa rests her head on Clarke's stomach, catching her breath, shifting as her own arousal – caused very much by Clarke's expressiveness – becomes uncomfortable. When Clarke has returned to her senses she takes one deep breath and strokes Lexa's hair almost fondly.

"Thank you so much." She says, still a little out of breath, voice hoarse from her moans and screams. Lexa's short laughter vibrates against her own body and Clarke smiles.

"You're very welcome." She replies and then the silence returns.

After another moment Lexa looks up, a glint in her eyes, lips set in that seemingly permanent smirk and the evidence of Clarke's arousal still on her chin – Clarke can't help but think she's breathtaking. Which should have been her second warning-sign.

"So..." Lexa lets the word hang between them as her smirk grows. "You're loud." It's not a question or an accusation. It is a statement, and judging from her smirk, she doesn't mind at all.

Clarke laughs again, removes her leg from Lexa's shoulder and then pulls her up her body. Lexa has no time to settle, because Clarke flips them effortlessly, now straddling Lexa, her sex pressing against Lexa's stomach.

"You bet I am."

And then she returns the favor.

* * *

(The story can also be found on my AO3 account.)


End file.
